


The Asgardian Healer

by Kaogasm



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beer, Confessions, Drinking, F/M, Friendship/Love, Getting Back Together, Good Loki (Marvel), Homelessness, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki is Not Amused (Marvel), Loki is a Good Bro (Marvel), Love Confessions, Marvel - Freeform, One Shot, One-Shot, Oneshot, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Prostitute, Prostitution, Thor is useless, Whiskey & Scotch, alcoholic drinks, homeless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26216086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaogasm/pseuds/Kaogasm
Summary: She had built herself a name on Vanaheim. The Asgardian Healer they used to call her. She was loved and respected by the villagers and so were her parents. Living on New Asgard had her spiralling into alcoholism, which led her into seclusion and eventually prostitution. She refused help when it was offered by either Thor or Valkyrie. Only to reconsider when Loki forced help upon her, making forgotten feelings resurface once more.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/OFC, Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Loki/OFC, Loki/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	The Asgardian Healer

**Author's Note:**

> Been working on this for a while. Finally decided to post it. It's a one-shot, so a lot of things are quite cut down. Mind the tags. Alcoholism and prostitution. Nothing graphic though, hence the rating. It's basically PG-13.

“You’re supposed to be dead.” Either her eyes were deceiving her, or she was really drunk.

“Obviously, I’m not.” He shrugged, taking a seat opposite of her.

“Thanos killed you, I saw it happen.”

“Body double.”

“Thor mourned you.” She couldn’t help but recall the times his brother mourned him every time he was presumed dead. It was cruel, really.

“Already talked to him, explained what happened and why I stayed away for five years. Mother had seen it all, it was up to me to let it play out.”

“I’m surprised you’re still alive after talking to him.” She took a sip of her scotch. Midgardians really hit the jackpot with this drink.

“Thor is no fool. He always took mother’s premonitions seriously.”

“And since the queen isn’t here to confirm it, how can he be sure you’re not lying to him?”

“He knows me better than he lets on. I wouldn’t lie about anything related to mother. You, of all people, should know that.”

That part she knew to be true. Despite him being a little shit his whole life, he never lied when it came to his mother, no matter what it was about. He would relay her word to the letter and would not even try to manipulate his way out of it. She was probably the only person whom he took seriously, whom he loved and had utmost respect for. Everyone else could go burn in Hel for eternity.

“Well, nice seeing you alive and kicking.” She set her glass on the table and got up. “See you around, I guess.”

Loki watched her leave, swaying in her steps as she did. Getting up himself, he decided to follow her. She was definitely intoxicated and would probably not make it to her home in one piece.

He walked out of the bar, looked to both sides of the street and couldn’t see her. She surely wasn’t that fast, not in her intoxicated state. He then looked ahead and saw she had crossed the street and was walking forward. She tripped and caught herself, then continued on. That prompted Loki to go after her. He wasn’t doing it out of chivalry or something, no. He did it because he knew her. At least the version of her he grew up with on Asgard. 

She was his only friend when they were children. Since other children didn’t want to play with him. They were scared of him because of his magic, which he had no control over back then. She was the only one to ignore the magical mishaps he caused and simply treated him like an equal, even though, given their family ranks, they were not and would never be. But as far as being children went, they were definitely equals.

Eya cursed under her breath as she tripped over a stone. Luckily she didn’t fall face-forward onto the pavement. That would have been embarrassing. She knew the prince was following her. She desperately needed to get rid of him, but how can you get rid of someone in a small town like this? Maybe she should have stayed in New Asgard. That way she would have had some control over crossing paths with him.

Taking a left turn, she entered a small alley and after a few feet ducked into a narrow passage between two buildings. Once she was out, she took another turn and continued on.

Loki followed her through the alley but then he came to a halt. He couldn’t see her anymore and there were too many alleys and passages opening up on the sides. He cursed under his nose and turned around, deciding to return to New Asgard and hope to see her there the next day.

Eya sighed in relief when she saw that he wasn’t after her anymore. She continued walking for a while, going through streets and alleys until her feet couldn’t carry her anymore. Taking one last turn, she reached the alley she was looking for. A small, narrow passage that no one looked twice at. The entrance was blocked by a dumpster, so she slipped through the side of it and walked further in until she reached the tattered mattress and cardboard roof she had made for herself. She didn’t know how she hadn’t been mobbed of her few belongings yet, but nonetheless, every time she returned to them she was relieved they were untouched.

-*-*-*-*-*-

She hadn’t always been living under a cardboard roof in an abandoned alley. Back in Asgard, she was the daughter of a nobleman. Her father was a member of the court, her mother a friend of the queen. As a little girl, she used to come with her mother to the palace and would play with the princes. As they grew older, Thor’s interest in playing had grown less, so she played with Loki and eventually they became best of friends. In their teenage years they pranked others. Constantly making elaborative plans so neither of them would be caught. It worked every time and if by any chance they were caught, either of them would willingly take the blame for the other. They always had each other’s back, no matter how harsh or unfair the punishment. It was when they turned into young adults that she had started developing feelings for him. He was handsome, smart, eloquent. He cared for the less fortunate, always tried to help whenever or however he could. She had never gotten the chance to confess her feelings, for it was unbecoming of a young maiden to be the first to do so. So, she waited.

She waited and they started growing apart.

She waited and Loki fell off the Bifrost.

She waited and Loki lead a Chitauri invasion on Midgard.

She waited and he came back as a prisoner.

She waited and news came he had passed away fighting the dark elves.

After Frigga’s death, Eya’s parents decided to move to Vanaheim. Her father had given up his position in the Court of Asgard and with Odin’s blessing, the noble family settled in their new home in the realm of the Vanir, where her mother originated from.

Eya followed her parents with no objections. She no longer had any reason to wait. Loki was dead and their contact with each other had died years ago anyway. She decided to start a new life on Vanaheim. Her choices in ways of living were limited, mainly due to the fact that she hadn’t inherited her mother’s ability to see the future. Instead, she had a talent for the healing arts. Being best friends with Loki had meant constant injuries that needed to be secretly remedied. So, in a sense, she had the basic knowledge to get her through the doors and start her training.

She had built herself a name on Vanaheim. The Asgardian Healer they used to call her. She was loved and respected by the villagers and so were her parents. As years passed, the news of Hela returning to Asgard had reached them. She had decided to return to Asgard with Hogun and help her people however she could.

It was when they were escorting the people over the Bifrost when she had seen him again. Loki was alive and looking better than ever. She had decided to ignore her aching heart and kept away from his sight as much as possible. Even the look that Heimdall had given her didn’t persuade her to confront him. She was better off without his presence in her life.

He had cornered her on the refugee vessel. Tried to talk to her moments before he was called by Thor. Then they were attacked by Thanos. She witnessed him kill everyone. Her heart shattered to pieces when she witnessed him break Loki’s neck and drop him to the ground like a rag doll.

It was by the grace of the Norns that she didn’t perish when the ship exploded. She was rescued along with the remaining Asgardians and transferred to Midgard, to a place Midgardians called Norway. They built a new home there and called it New Asgard. She had her own cottage and joined the other healers at the little practice they set up. Life was starting to take shape, despite the tragedy that had befallen them all. And then there was Thor, who came back from fighting Thanos, devastated by the loss of his brother and half of his people. He was broken and kept to himself most of the time. Only coming out of his cottage to grab a new crate of beer and going back inside. In the beginning she kept her distance, but then, one day she decided to talk to him. He was happy to see her, of course, though his blue eyes were full of darkness and sorrow. Thor had been drinking his misery into oblivion. He simply couldn’t get over the fact that they had lost. That he had, yet again, lost his brother and this time for good. The more she visited him, the more they talked about the past, about Loki, the lost lives, her parents whom she won’t ever get to see anymore and she started drinking as well.

It was harmless in the beginning. Joining him for a can of beer or two. Slowly it had become three, then four, and before she knew it, she was never seen without beer in her hand. The other healers kept warning her about the dependency, but she shrugged them off. She was half Aesir, half Vanir. She could never grow dependency to Midgardian alcohol.

Oh but how she was wrong. She could never stand a day without the buzz anymore. Even Valkyrie had tried to cut her off the booze and failed. As a result, she had lost her position among the healers. It didn’t matter, she could still go see Thor, Korg and Miek. They were still her friends and they didn’t judge her.

Then came the Midgardian heroes and Thor had gone with them. Korg and Miek had started getting out more and she was, once more, left alone. That led her to seclusion. She never left her cottage unless she needed to get beer. She was lucky enough to have knowledge of her body’s inner workings and every time she noticed some weight gain, she used her healing magic to get rid of it. Unlike, Thor, who didn’t even bother with that. Valkyrie had noticed her absence from the social circles, so she tried talking to her. Former alcoholic to current. Eya would hear none of it. She was getting sick and tired of people telling her what to do.

Then Thor was back. Triumphant, yet melancholic. She heard from the villagers that he had lost dear friends and comrades to Thanos during the final battle. The only consolation being that their fellow Asgardians who had turned into dust were back again, five years after the fact.

But Thor didn’t have any plans to stay in New Asgard. He had assigned Valkyrie to be king on his behalf and she had agreed. Eya reminisced on the times when Loki used to tell her how he would work side-by-side with his brother when Thor would be king. But Loki was no more and Thor didn’t want to rule.

Thor was set to leave that evening with the group called The Guardians of the Galaxy. She hadn’t met them, nor did she want to. She locked herself up in her cottage and grabbed a duffle bag. She wanted to leave as well. Not with Thor, though, no. She needed to go elsewhere. Anywhere that didn’t remind her of her past life.

In the beginning she would go for a day at a time. She explored neighbouring villages, found them dull and came back to her home. After a while she grabbed her bag and went away a few more days. When she came back she heard murmurs that Thor was back for a visit, he seemed to be doing better. Good for him, she had thought at the time. A messenger had told her Thor wished to speak to her. But she had declined the invitation. It resulted with Thor coming to see her himself.

He was shocked to see the state her cottage was in. Broken furniture, empty bottles and cans of beer scattered here and there. Heaps of dirty dishes in the sink and Eya sprawled over a broken couch watching television and drinking beer.

It crushed him seeing her like that. His childhood friend who was nothing but gentle and patient with him, had succumbed to his own old ways. He tried talking sense to her, but she refused to listen. He needed her sober for something, but he wouldn’t tell her what. So he simply cut off her beer supply.

Being pissed at him, that evening she gathered her duffle bag and left New Asgard. There were other places where she can go have a drink.

The problem was, she didn’t have any Midgardian money, and drinks cost. She needed to work, but no one would hire an alcoholic who couldn’t even stand straight.

Oh why did she leave Vanaheim?

She ended up in a town two villages away from New Asgard. She gave herself up to prostitution in exchange for drinks or money. She had no place to call her own, the money she earned from prostitution was not enough to pay rent, but it was good enough for some clothes and drinks.

She had found an abandoned mattress in a little alley one day and decided to claim the spot. If anyone came to kick her out, she could take them down. Lucky for them, or her, whomever; no one came. She found a big cardboard left near the dumpster that blocked her hideout from bypassers, which she took and used to build a roof over her bed. 

She had found a homeless shelter nearby and was allowed to shower there twice a week for a small fee. They had tried to persuade her to take residence there, but she had refused and told them with all honesty that their no-alcohol policy does not go with her lifestyle, and that she’d rather leave the bed they would have given her for someone more deserving than herself. Being only allowed shower was more than generous, she had told them.

She was out drinking and hoping to catch a customer when he had shown up, not a single scar in sight. Then again, he was a master of disguise.

He came to stand in front of her, face void of emotions. She had tried to ignore him for a long time, trying to casually drink her scotch that she paid good money for. He must have been a hallucination. Her mind was probably playing tricks on her. 

He stood there for a while and couldn’t handle the silence coming from her so he spoke.

“Eya,”

“You’re supposed to be dead.” Either her eyes were deceiving her, or she was really drunk.

“Obviously, I’m not.” He had shrugged, taking a seat opposite of her.

After the short talk with him, she had to leave. There was going to be no client for her tonight. Not after this. She could barely keep herself from toppling over, but she managed. She always did.

But then he was following her and she didn’t know why. How did he find her to begin with? Why let their friendship grow apart without reasoning? Why disappear years ago and never consider seeing her when he was ruling disguised as Odin? Why come after her after all this time? Why not leave her alone? Why?

Too many questions and no answers; with no desire left to find the answers.

All she desired right now as she lay onto the cold mattress in that alley was a dreamless night.

-*-*-*-*-*-

A week.

It had been a week since the last time he had seen her. Every day he would go to her cottage, knock, wait, and then head back to his own residence.

Every day he would ask the neighbouring Asgardians if they had seen her. They hadn’t.

Making his way to the harbour, he came to a halt upon seeing Valkyrie speaking to an old fisherman. He patiently waited for her to be done before he approached her.

“What do you want?” she scribbled something on the clip board she was holding.

“Eya hasn’t been home for a at least a week.”

“A few months, actually.”

Loki blinked. “And you’re not concerned.”

“She’s a big girl and everyone has the freedom to move.” Valkyrie shrugged and started walking.

Loki walked next to her. “I saw her last week in a town called Sem. At a bar.”

“So she was at a bar. And?”

Loki stood in her way, earning him a scowl. “How can you call yourself king and yet not have a care about one of your subjects?”

“Going to a bar is hardly a concerning matter. Now, out of my way, _your highness_.” She spoke the title with sarcasm. While she was king of New Asgard, it didn’t mean Loki -nor Thor- would lose their titles as Crown Princes. Her reign was an agreement between her and Thor. She was replacing him until he decided he wanted to return and she had no problems with it.

Her only problem right now was the other prince who had shown up, yet again, alive and well. And he was getting on her last nerve by persisting to talk about the one Asgardian who had _chosen_ to leave their home.

Loki remained in her way, staring her down with his chin up. “I see now where my brother has failed, choosing you as king.”

“You shouldn’t have died, then.” She tried to walk past him, but he kept blocking her way. “Loki, for the love of everything holy, out of my way.”

“How can you be so calm about this? You’ve been where she is now and yet you are ready to just let her poison herself?”

“Why do you care?” she stared at him. “Last I know you were hardly friends anymore.”

He sighed as he finally stepped aside and let her pass. She had a point there. He had let their friendship deteriorate years ago, right when he started plotting with the Jotnar before Thor’s coronation. It all went downhill from there. He wanted to make it right, but he didn’t know how. More so, he didn’t know how to ask for help. Maybe he should just take it upon himself and try to correct his wrongdoing, especially since the Valkyrie didn’t seem keen on getting Eya back to New Asgard.

-*-*-*-*-*-

She wasn’t picky on who took her to bed, as long as she got paid. She wasn’t even picky about the location either. Whether it was an actual bed in a house or a hotel, or the backseat of a car, a dark corner of an alley, a bathroom of a club, it did not matter.

As long as she got paid.

As long as she could get her drinks.

She didn’t know when exactly her dependency had started, nor she cared to remember. Remembering always led to nightmares and those led to more drinking until she couldn’t stand anymore.

One night she was walking back to her spot from a rough sexual encounter. The client had wanted to play it rough, she agreed against a raise in her rate. He had happily obliged, only she ended up with a bloody nose and bruised thighs. It was okay, though. He had apologized after they were done and paid her above the agreed sum as a form of compensation. He had offered to take her to a hospital and get her nose checked up, but she had refused. She could take care of it herself.

She only needed to get back to the seclusion of her spot before she would start the healing process.

Loki had been aimlessly walking the streets of the town, hoping to bump into her one day. Every evening he would walk the streets that had most bars on them, but he never saw her.

Until the one evening he decided to take another street, and there she was. Swaying in her steps as she wiped blood off her nose. His heart started racing as he wondered whether she’d been attacked. Casting an invisibility spell around him, he followed her while keeping some distance as to not alert her of his presence.

Eya slowly made her way to her spot, carefully passing the garbage that was overflowing the dumpster serving as a gate of sorts. Once she dropped on her mattress, she finally let out a sigh. Her thighs and back ached from the positions the client had her in. 

Silently slipping behind the dumpster, Loki covered his mouth to stifle a gasp upon seeing what seemed to be her living arrangements. He stood there motionless and watched in total shock how she first healed her bloody nose and cleaned it. Then took off her pants and started healing the bruises on her thighs. Once those were taking care of, she grabbed her bag and took out some wet tissues she always had on hand for clean-up. She pulled her underwear off and started cleaning herself from the remnants of the evening. She disliked showering at the homes of the clients. Hotels were okay, but never a home. It simply didn’t feel right. She’d go to the shelter for a shower in the morning.

After she was done, she tossed the tissues aside and slipped back into the same underwear and pants. Then she grabbed her coat and pulled it over herself as she lay down to sleep.

Loki was tempted to just grab her and teleport her back with him to New Asgard. Though he was in such a shock that he left the premises as carefully as he could and walked away as fast as possible. Once a safe distance away he started running until he was a few streets away and came to a stop. His heart was racing and he was panting for breath. His childhood friend had fallen so hard and no one seemed to know or care.

He went back to his brother. He pleaded for help, but to no avail. As much as Thor wanted to help, he saw no reason to it anymore when she had already refused to accept it when he had offered it the first time.

“So we just let her slowly kill herself?” he asked.

“Loki, if she doesn’t accept help, what else is there for us to do?”

“Force help upon her, of course!”

“It doesn’t work that way and you of all people should know that.”

Yes, he knew it. There had been numerous occasions when Thor had offered him help and he had refused. Be it before his fall from the Bifrost or after, he always refused until his brother had given up. The problem that Thor wasn’t able to see, is that he had been offering help instead of just enforcing it against his will.

Loki sighed in disappointment at his brother. If he was not going to help him get Eya back, he would have to do it alone. She was _his_ best friend, after all. Not Thor’s.

“Very well, then. I’ll see to it myself. All I ask of you is to not interfere if things do not go as you like.”

“What are you going to do, brother?”

“I don’t know yet, but I’ll get her back with force if I have to.”

-*-*-*-*-*-

Now that he knew where she resided, Loki kept going to the place every day. Keeping watch over her every night, observing while invisible.

His tactics soon changed to following her wherever she went and she was oblivious to the fact. He watched in horror how she sold her body for a few paper bills of money, sometimes for just a drink.

One time he saw her walk out of a bar with a burly man, who had his hand over her ass while they walked towards a dark alley. Loki couldn’t take it anymore and followed them until they were hidden from the public eyes. As soon as the man pushed Eya against the wall, Loki revealed himself and sent the man toppling over with an energy blast.

Eya snapped her head to his direction. “What the bloody Hel do you think you’re doing?” she stepped between the man and Loki, glaring daggers at the latter, though she could barely stand still.

“Eya, you need to come home.”

“You’re disturbing my work time.”

“Eya, please..”

“Go away.”

“I can’t let you do this to yourself.”

“Who are you to let me do anything or not?” she snapped at him. “How dare you follow me here? How dare you hurt my client?” she turned to look at the man in question, who was knocked out cold, then turned back to Loki. “Now I’ll have to obliviate him and work on getting him back to where I want him!”

“Eya..” Loki took a step forward, but she backed away and turned and walked over to her client.

She knelt next to him and placed a hand over his temple, closing her eyes and sending a healing spell before she concluded it with a memory wiping spell. The man stirred and blinked his eyes open. Sitting up, he shook his head and looked around, then looked at the woman next to him.

“Who are you? And how did I get here? I was at the bar a moment ago.” He got up and dusted his pants.

“I don’t know, I just saw you laying on the ground and thought you were hurt.” She feigned concern and ran a hand over his bicep. The man jerked his arm away, startling her.

“Watch it lady, I’m happily married.” He said and walked away, disappearing onto the streets.

She should have known the healing spell would also rid him of the intoxication that had him want to cheat on his wife. “Damn you.” She growled at Loki. “He was going to pay me enough to last me a few days. And you ruined it!” she spat the last words and swayed in her step as she advanced at him.

Loki held her by the shoulders. “Eya, look at yourself! Why did you let it get to this?”

She struggled to free herself from his tight grip over her shoulders and failed miserably. He was much stronger than her, and she was quite tipsy to begin with. “Let go of me, Odinson, or I swear on everything you hold dear I’ll make you regret the day you didn’t die at the hands of the Titan.”

“Not a chance.” He replied and placed a hand over her temple, making her lose consciousness and fall into his arms.

He teleported them to his room in New Asgard. He carefully cleaned her up and tucked her into his bed. The sleeping spell would last until her intoxication had dissipated. Then she would wake up, and she could unleash her wrath upon him as she wished. He would not let her go back to living on the streets anymore, even if it meant she was his prisoner.

-*-*-*-*-*-

24 hours seemed to be the needed amount of time for her to finally wake up from the sleep that had been enforced upon her. When she opened her eyes, she wondered if she was so drunk the night before that she had spent the night in the client’s bed. Though something was off. She wasn’t going to anyone’s home last night. She was getting a quick fuck in an alley.

Then she remembered. The client being forcefully shoved away from her by none other than the person she hoped she wouldn’t have to ever see again. And then the client walking away and her starting an argument with Loki, which didn’t last long and next thing she knew, she was there. 

And she was sober.

That thought alone jerked her up from her laying position and she angrily shoved the blankets off herself as she got off the bed. Somehow she was dressed in clean clothes she didn’t even know she had. She then noticed him sleeping in an armchair, looking uncharacteristically peaceful. 

She huffed in annoyance and went for the door. There was no way she was staying wherever this was. Though it kind of looked like a bedroom in an actual house, instead of a hotel room.

She looked at the window and saw familiar buildings. Great. He had brought her back to New Asgard.

She grabbed the doorknob and tried to turn it, but it wouldn’t budge. She put all her strength and energy into unlocking it and failed. Her breath was getting caught in her throat as anxiety threatened to peak its ugly head. “Come on, come on, open up!” she whispered as she continued tried to open it.

“It’s not going to work.” A voice from behind startled her. “It’s warded.”

She leaned her forehead against the door and hit it with her fist. “Open it.”

“No.”

“Open it.”

“No.”

She turned around and glared at him. “What do you want from me?”

“Nothing. I merely want my friend back.” He stood up, walking over to her.

“Sorry to inform you, she’s been dead for a while now.” She scowled.

Loki shook his head. “She’s still in there, somewhere.” He pointed at her forehead.

“Bold of you to assume she’s anywhere here. Even if she were alive, she would be in Vanaheim, far away from you with no way for you to ever reach her again.”

Loki wondered when things had gone south between the two of them. When did their relationship start to deteriorate. He knew it must have been his fault, since in his eyes she was an angel who could do no wrong.

“Eya..” his voice quivered as he stepped forward, “please, let me help you.”

“Then help me get out of here. Open the door.” She pointed at the handle.

He shook his head. “Not like that.”

“Then I do not need your help.” She huffed and grabbed the door handle and started fighting against it to open. No matter what she did or tried, it didn’t budge.

Loki went to sit back down on his armchair, crossed his legs and spread his arms over the armrests and watched her. He had a lot of patience, and she will get exhausted soon enough.

When fighting the doorknob didn’t work, she started slamming her fist against the door and started calling for help. “Somebody open the door! I’m being held here against my will! Help!”

“No one will hear you. I don’t have servants anymore, you know.” He noted, but she ignored him and kept on going.

When she finally realized getting through the door wasn’t going to work, she went for the window. To her utter frustration, it didn’t open either. By that time she was fuming. She looked around and found a paper weight on his desk. She grabbed it and threw it at the glass, only for it to hit a shimmering barrier and bounce back, almost hitting her head.

She was starting to tremble in anger and she couldn’t control the shiver anymore. “L-Loki, l-let me out.” She turned to glare at him, her hands turned into fists and kept tightly to her sides.

“Can’t do that.”

She went for the door again and started hitting it with her fists again, calling for help at the top of her lungs. As much as it broke Loki’s heart seeing her like that, he needed to wait it out. He needed to help her heal. Since she refused help the normal way, this was the only way he could think of. She might end up hating him for eternity for it, but at least she’d be alive and healthy.

Tears started flowing down her cheeks as she started losing strength in her hits against the door. Her voice lowered in volume as well and she started sobbing, sliding down to the floor. “Let me out of here.” She leaned her head against the wooden door, defeated and hitting it without any strength left in her fist. “I beg of you, let me out.”

That was the last drop for Loki. While he anticipated her breaking down, it didn’t cross his mind she would start begging and that didn’t sit well with him. He came to kneel next to her, putting a hand over her shoulder.

“Please let me out. I beg you. I’ll do anything.” She kept sobbing and he took her into his arms.

“Why?” his voice was soft as he gently stroked her hair. “Why do you need to get away so desperately?”

Why did she want to leave? It was simple, really. Nothing tied her to New Asgard. No friends, no family. She had no home there anymore. And the fact that Loki was back only brought back painful memories of their past, which she had fought so hard to bury deep and forget. She didn’t need to be reminded of what they had and what could have been. She didn’t need to be reminded that he had let them grow apart. She didn’t need to be reminded of the time she had spent trying to forget him.

And most importantly, she didn’t want to be reminded of her feelings for him. The feelings which did not diminish at all, despite the years and events in between.

“Why, Eya?” he asked again.

With all the reasons going through her mind, it all came down to one. “You left me.” She whispered.

He held her tighter in his arms. He had no excuse, because what she said was the simple truth. With him starting the negotiations with the Jotnar just before Thor’s coronation and everything that followed, he had completely taken her out of the picture. He had allowed their friendship to suffer, without regards to Eya’s feelings. His only best friend since childhood.

Loki swallowed a lump in his throat as his eyes became wet with tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” He raised her chin to look at him. “I was so self-centered that I did not think about our friendship. I did not think about us. I have no excuse, Eya.”

“Why did you not send word with your mother when you were imprisoned in the dungeons? Why not send word that you were alive when you were reigning as Odin? My father spoke to _you_ disguised as Odin when he denounced his position at the Court. Why let me believe you dead, Loki?” she shifted around so she was facing him. “What wrong have I done to deserve such treatment from you?” Loki looked down onto his lap, for he had no excuse. Not even his Silvertongue was going to get him out of this. “I felt betrayed, Loki. My best friend left without word. News of him kept coming back, but never him. Had I known you cared, I would have convinced my parents to stay on Asgard instead of moving to Vanaheim. They could have been with us today, instead of being alone on Vanaheim with no way for me to ever see them again.” She got on her knees, her tears flowing once more as she grabbed his shirt. “You took away my parents. You make me wish to be dead. So for the sake of what we used to have, either let me go or kill me, Loki. Because I cannot take it anymore.”

“No.” He shook his head, equally crying with her. “Neither options are acceptable.” He cupped her cheeks as he spoke. “I’ve committed many crimes, but I only regret one. I regret not talking to you before I let everything spiral down. That is the worst crime I had ever committed. I lost you then. But now that I’ve found you again, I don’t want to let you go, Eya. I never wanted to let you go. Not even then.” His breaths came as shudders as his hands trembled. In all the years, through all the agony he had gone through, he had never forgotten about her. Ever since he had regained control over his own mind, he kept thinking about her and berating himself for not confessing his feelings to her at the time, for not including her in his plans. And whenever Frigga had relayed a message from her while he was in the dungeons, he would ignore it. He was too ashamed to respond to her. Now he knows he shouldn’t have.

“Then why did you do it? Did our friendship mean so little to you? Did I mean so little to you?” she looked into his eyes, searching for answers.

“On the contrary. You meant everything to me, Eya. You still do.” He managed a smile. “Ever since we were teenagers.. I..” he took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair as he suddenly started feeling nervous. “I’ve had feelings for you, Eya.” He looked into her eyes. “I still do.”

She shook her head in disbelief. “No, you do not get to do that now.” She stood up and paced the room. “You cannot do that to me. Not now. Not after all these years.”

“Eya,” Loki stood up as well.

“No!” she stopped pacing and raised a finger at him. “You do not get to make your confession after having me wait for so many years!” she wiped her eyes and ran her hand through her hair as she resumed pacing. “Do you have _any_ idea how long I’ve waited to hear that? Instead, I heard you committed suicide. Then invaded Midgard, then imprisoned, then died, need I go on? I kept waiting for you to make the first step because it was unbecoming of a maiden to make the first move!”

Loki blinked at that, surprised by her own confession. “You..”

“Yes, Loki Odinson,” she stopped in front of him. “I had feelings for you since then, alright? But your Royal Highness was too self-centered to notice.”

“What about now?”

“I never stopped having feelings for you, you idiot. Why do you think it’s hard for me to live in this wretched town?” she raised her voice a bit do drive the message through. “For a Crown Prince, you can be so daft sometimes.“

Two steps forward and he was kissing her. She was so shocked that it took her a moment to register what was happening and then she relaxed into his arms as he wrapped them around her waist, pulling her even closer.

Her hands rested against his chest as they kissed, clutching at his shirt as if for dear life. She had waited so long for this moment and she would have never imagined it happening. His lips didn’t even feel like she had imagined them to be. They were soft and warm, despite what she had heard about his origins.

They only stopped when they needed to breathe. They remained standing there, holding each other, taking each other’s scent in.

“I missed you, Eya.” Loki whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. “You were what kept me alive in the Void all those years ago. Thinking of you helped me endure the torture Thanos and The Other had put me through.” He brought a hand to her chin and raised it to look into her eyes. “You were and will always be, my everything.”

Her eyes were getting watery again. The corner of her lips trembled as she fought against her need to cry. Though at that moment, the tears were happy ones. She didn’t know whether she could kick her addiction, but with her healing abilities and Loki’s help, maybe she’d succeed. If Thor could do it without any healer’s help, she could definitely do it with a sorcerer like Loki at her side.

She managed a smile as her tears flowed down her face yet again. “And you have always been mine.” She whispered. But then, at that moment, her gaze darkened and she looked aside, pulled herself away from his embrace and turned her back to him, wrapping her arms around herself. “But I cannot stay, Loki. You can’t possibly accept someone as tainted as me in your life.” She closed her eyes tightly as she forced the next words out. “I’m a prostitute.”

He turned her around and held her face between his palms. “Look at me, Eya.” He waited for her to open her eyes before he continued, “while it pained me that you had to go through that, I do not think any less of you. You are not, were not and will never be tainted in my eyes.”

“But I am in mine.”

“Then you’ll have to work on forgiving yourself.” He smiled fondly at her. “I’m confident that the Asgardian Healer can work on healing her own self.”

“Would you help me heal, then?”

“For as long as I breathe.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm curious to know how I did with this. I hope you enjoyed reading. Comments are quite motivating!


End file.
